more reward please

Blogging from my car because I can lol
Really, it is because I have escaped my house full of chores, homework, dinner, and kids, to take my youngest to soccer practice. While she is out there learning new things and getting fun healthy exercise...I am sitting in the parking lot alone with my thoughts, which is kind of nice sometimes. I was thinking about how when I tell my dog to sit, she many times just stares at me or ignores me altogether. I tell that same dog to sit while holding a treat in my hand and she sits before I even finish getting the word out of my mouth, hummm?
Actually I can get the dog to do just about anything for a treat!
Am I no better than the dog? What treat has to dangle in my face before I obey? What is in it for me? What is my reward? Am I willing to obey because my master, my Lord has asked me too? Or do my actions say, more reward please!

"it" is not about me

Of course it has been a while since I have had babies around here, but the puppy is a daily reminder that "it" is not about me. Being a stay at home mom gives alot of freedom to my schedule. I mean sure there are places I need to be at certain times but there is alot of other time left to be used at my discretion. How am I managing that time? Even if I did have a job outside the home...how am I managing the time I have left?
Do I schedule my activities and duties to lead me to the ultimate goal of making my life a life that honors God and not myself?
How much of my day is involved with the motivation to please others and/or myself? It is not always so much about what we do but why we do what we do.
I need to tidy my home not to make my husband happy or make myself feel like I am in a clean environment, etc. But because I choose to live in this house and taking care of what God has trusted to me, is the right thing to do. Now how to take care of it is a matter of opinion(but again, it comes down to motives, and why we are doing what we are doing)
Anyway, as I go about my day today, I hope you will join me in evaluating the motives of your heart today..and everyday....Have a God day!

Receive some LOVE!

I knew my husband's love language was acts of service and words but I have always taken it for granted because my love language is quality time. Watching him feed the dog, give the dog a bath, talk to the dog...and seeing how good it makes him feel to provide this for her and how well received it is...for sure makes me think about how I kinda just blow it off...alot! Meaning, I take for granted the way he is showing me love because it is not necessarily the way I want to receive it. I am missing out on an opportunity to receive love and attention and at the same time truly make someone else feel great.
This comes back to fear and now ,I guess, I need to add in control! I am afraid if I praise and acknowledge this way of showing love it will encourage him(others) to continue to show me love in this way.(and I want it in a different way! LOL sounds like a spoiled, selfish fit to me!)
What if instead of demanding love the way we want to receive it, we accept love from others with joy and thanksgiving? Like when your husband buys you that expensive gift and you would have rather him put the money in savings and just do that project out back you have wanted him to do. Or when your husband wants to cuddle on the couch(which leads to you know what) and you just want him to talk to you and know each other better, or what about when your husband tells you how wonderful you are but you just want him to surprise you with a special gift? Would it be so bad to be over joyed to receive love the way someone wants to give it?
If you are like me you may feel fake or disingenuous at first, but that is ok. I wonder what the results might be of receiving love on others peoples terms...and not just receiving it but be thankful and joyful to receive it? Lets find out.....

tears for fears

First tears with the puppy home.

Funny how everything mimics raising my kids. I am sure you all know how puppies and babies are so similar, But more like a young toddler at this point. I remember every little thing my kids did would throw me into the future 20 years. Like if they turned off the tv or bit the neighbors kid or threw their food on the floor...I would think "Oh, I have to show them right now or my child will grow up to be horrible! And you might know what happened next...did "I show them?" Well I think we are all still fighting battle of "showing our kids who is the boss"..hahaha

But what I do know is many times I make decisions out of fear of a future I predict. A, .."If I let them throw their food on the floor then they will think that is ok and will keep doing it...and become a horrible person." Will they really become a horrible person? In my mind if I don't fix this, they will. As you can imagine this has made me become very urgent in all matters, for fear of what that disobedience will hold for the future(not a fun way to live, I will tell you, especially when it drives everyone else around you batty)
Tears came when I had taken the dog to the bathroom, fed her a little but not having great success with that, letting her run around the yard a bit to check things out..now what? I put her back in her crate and she feel asleep. Time to wake the kids...they need to get ready for sports camp, eat some breakfast and oh yea, I need to do the same! But the puppy hears and begins to cry, much to the kids delight. So, I take her out and head to the potty spot outside(kids following like ducks) Then ,I let her run around the back a while, but with the leash on ,because she is a bit excited about the kids. She is jumping up, biting(nipping) at their pants, hands ,socks anything she can tug. Ok..I am not ok with this, so inside we go..we are going to be late! I put her back in her crate. Call Trent and begin to cry...like a momma with a baby that has colic and you don't know what to do. lol
"What do I do with the dog?" "how do I stop her from this biting?" "she wants to chew the rug and anything else she can get" "The kids are making her hyper, the kids want to play with her but I don't know if I should let them?" " omgosh, because I don't know what to do, this dog is going to turn into a horrible dog!" "Because this dog(kid-kids) doesn't do what I tell her she is going to turn into a horrible dog(kid-kids)."
The truth is that anything less than a good(obedient) dog is unacceptable(unacceptable, really?) Do my kids feel unacceptable?humm . How do you show love and acceptance when you feel in your heart disobedience is unacceptable? And where does all this "fear" come from? Is it possible that if those whom we have influence on fail, then we feel like failures too and the world will see us as failures??
Deep breath! today's (and tomorrows)failures do not determine a lesser future but it may determine a more humble, forgiving, accepting, loving person.

follow-up to advice post

does anyone want advice if they don't ask?
Advice; what a word. Don't we need a place for the puppy to play? What about the pool,it could fall in. Don't you think we need this don’t you think we need that. Everyone is frustrated with me..I am so confused. Deep breath...what am I doing wrong here? Am I giving advice? Are they asking? Hmmm....do you like advice when you didn't ask? This involves my life too shouldn't I voice my concern? NO because what we are really trying to do is get others to see it our way. If I am concerned then I should do what I feel I need to do to meet that concern that involves me not get others to agree that it is valid. Boy this is going to be a bumpy for me!

This post happened the day before they went to get the puppy. I was "telling" or giving advice to my family about what I thought needed to happen around here. But it was falling on deaf ears. So, I continued...they began ignoring me more, telling me to chill out, laughing at me..etc. I slammed the door, got in my car to go do some grocery shopping...but then burst into tears in the parking lot. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong, why did my family react the way they did? And that is when I wrote this post; from my car, in the grocery store parking lot, in tears! But God showed me truth of the situation and the tears were gone and I went in to do my shopping. When I came home ,the laundry room was spotless and set up for a perfect little puppy place!!

on their way home with Bella(formally zoe)

Madison decided she wants to call her Bella which means beautiful...I love it! So far so good..feeling really calm. Getting last minute things out of reach and cleaned up.

does anyone want advice if they don't ask?

Advice; what a word. Don't we need a place for the puppy to play? What about the pool,it could fall in. Don't you think we need this don’t you think we need that. Everyone is frustrated with me..I am so confused. Deep breath...what am I doing wrong here? Am I giving advice? Are they asking? Hmmm....do you like advice when you didn't ask? This involves my life too shouldn't I voice my concern? NO because what we are really trying to do is get others to see it our way. If I am concerned then I should do what I feel I need to do to meet that concern that involves me not get others to agree that it is valid. Boy this is going to be a bumpy ride for me!

I Just learned how to love people and now you want me to love animals too?

Pride; I thought it could be a good thing? Well not when you love yourself more than others. You may think...ha, I don't love myself very much but look how you care for yourself, feed yourself, get mad when you don't get your sleep..or at least I do. Yes, I know learning to truly love others the way God wants me to will be a life long process but just admitting I needed to work on this was a big step for me. Learning about this dog, God is showing me a whole other level of love that I didn't want to face. Learning to love others on their terms, learning to honor others who are different from me..not just say I love them but show I love them and accept them. Learn to love others the way they need in order to feel loved.
You might be thinking it is just a dog kelli. Yep, that is what I would be saying, or I might be saying their just a kid, what do they know. Or they are old what do they know or look at their life what do they know. God is not asking me what I think, he is telling me to stop thinking and start loving...loving in a way I don't know. Loving in a way he has yet to show me or a way I couldn't see before. You have no Idea how humbling it is going to be for me to learn these lessons through a dog , it is like a cruel joke from God! Which I am sure was all a part of his "little"plan. You animal lovers have no idea how us non animal lovers really feel about animals(or people who need them)

My so called mothering style

The more I read about greyhounds the more they seem to have the personality of my oldest daughter. I tend to be loud(a yell-er really) but don't get me wrong I like to be silly and have fun too. My daughter can be silly and funny too but she hates when I yell..who really likes it I suppose? I guess you could say I try to raise my kids as greyhound racers. Which is fine but what if they don't want to race? What if they want to be lovable and calm and whatever? Can I let that happen?? Can I just let them be? Humm..maybe, I am not sure? I do want them to find something that is for them and I want to encourage them in it. But what if they don't know, what if they just want to be lovable?
What I do know is I see where things can improve; in my life, in others, in my children, in programs, in buildings, in..etc. Some people think I see the worst in them or things but I see it as I see the full potential(wrong or right , I don't know)
Just because I see these things does not mean I actually improve them(especially in myself)but sometimes I do. I feel I am rambling but it is hard to put this into words!
What I am trying to say is what I have read about how I should raise a greyhound, train a greyhound, love a greyhound is how I should have been raising my daughter, training and loving my daughter. That is when it hit me that God is going to be teaching my somethings that are going to require me to be soo humble or should I say humbled!

week before puppies get here

I start getting very nervous. I have been on the Internet for days reading about greyhound but not a whole lot of information on puppies, only ex-racers. First thing I hear from God is "you don't have to have it all figured out Kelli, I would not let you anyway!" No, God, no....I need to know, you don't understand. "Kelli, I am going to show you along the way. And I begin to cry, this does not sound like good news to me!
Despite what God says, I continue to look for info.

Greyhound puppies at play [HD]

Greyhound puppies at play [HD]

Of course we don't want to leave the others out because you never know

Samantha at the top is shy, independent and a big puppy

Izzy in the middle is lovable, energetic and fun loving

Dutches and the bottom is a chewer and likes to play rough

Zoe pictured below on other post is calm, loving and a cuddlier

which one(please let it be one) is coming to live with us?

We told Madison about her new present because she was going to have to go pick it out. Her response was, "you guys are lying, stop you are going to make me cry!" After it settled in she wasn't sure about a greyhound but she just wanted a puppy and that was all that really mattered to her. She looked through the pictures and immediately picked out Zoe. When we talked to Holli, the puppy owner, she said Zoe was her favorite too! Many people have told us we should pick a calm one..and I agree of course(especially since it will be so big!)

the story behind the puppies

The town "butt-hole", is what she calls him...we will just call him butt-hole for short. The lady we are getting the greyhound from said, "the butt-hole breeds racing greyhounds but only keeps the boys and disposes of the girls!" A friend of hers happen to be driving by when she saw the butt-hole throw a sack out his car window into a ditch. She stopped to check the sack and found 4 female pups with the umbilical cord still attached. She is not a dog person but knows her friend would know what to do , so she brings them to her friend. Her friend(whom we are now getting the greyhound from) has like five dogs herself(one pregnant right now) two cats and few others she is probably nursing back to life haha. She can't turn these puppies away, so she takes the next six weeks of her life to nurse these little puppies and save their lives. The puppies are six weeks old now and her little dog has just given birth too. And did I mention she has three little kids too. I think she is a pretty amazing person and I don't even know her :)

Why this dog?

Why this dog?; Well sure enough that is exactly what happened..a miracle! Trent went on the Internet and that day someone posted a greyhound puppies for sale 5weeks old for a couple hundred dollars! Trent contacts them as soon as possible thinking they could be gone that very day. They send us some photos and Trent is in love! I on the other hand start feeling very nervous that this could all really be happening. I start thinking...wait, where did she get these puppies? are they stolen? are they sick? why so cheap? So we ask.....and the story we hear is unbelievably heart wrenching but with a very happy ending. We are very lucking to even have this chance to own a greyhound puppy. I have not seen a puppy come up for sale since we saw these and no one else has even offered to adopt the other three as of yet.

How do we find "the" dog?

I began research ing dogs on line. I looked for dogs that do well with the heat. Dogs that do well with families(kids). Dogs that are low maintenance. Many little dogs came up and I knew my husband did not want a little dog. There were very big dogs and I knew I did not want that. There were a few fluffy dogs which wouldn't do with my allergies. And a poodle was on my husband's...I don't think so list haha. This left a lab(which is what I always thought would would end up with) or a greyhound...A what? Greyhound...humm..they are kinda skinny aren't they? I began to read all about them. Kept hearing words like..sweet, gentle, couch potato, calm...easy on allergies...this dog sounds too good to be true!
I decide to mention this whole idea to my husband and within minutes he is looking up greyhound puppies for sale. I had no idea he wanted a dog so bad hahaha
He looked and looked but was coming up with nothing...after days he found one dog for 2,500 and it was already 14weeks. We put the idea kind of on the back burner thinking it probably wasn't going to happen. Trent(my husband) would check the Internet once or twice a day just to see if a miracle would happen and the perfect dog would be right there calling his name :)

Why now?

why this now?; Good question, I have no great answer except that my children (especially my oldest, who is now 15)have wanted a dog for a very long time. I told them we couldn't have one because I am allergic to dogs(as well as my sister, brother and dad). Well my sister was the first to ruin the excuse by getting dog. Then my brother shortly followed by also getting a dog. I then told my oldest if she got all A's we would get a dog(hoping that would not realistically happen!) My oldest child started high this last year..it was rough but I feel she worked really hard while also being on two different sport teams. She ,on the other hand, feels as though she is never good enough, which probably comes from me telling her where she can do better! I have good intentions in my heart but this is not what is being felt or heard by the receiver. When Christmas started to roll around and my daughter couldn't think of anything she really wanted, a dog popped into my head. Would a dog help our relationship..I thought to myself. I would do anything to see my daughter happy and to show her how much I truly love her! I began to consider this idea.

I am happy about this can't you tell?